Hi Christina/Marley,
Wow, that’s a somewhat more complicated situation than with most pen names.
It’s always hard to give feedback from the outside. That said, I think there’s growth potential whatever you end up doing.
You wrote:
She is literally who I wanted to be the “author/writer” in me.
From that, it sounds to me like the name Marley Haus really resonates for you. If that’s the case, perhaps it’s worth doing what it takes to be able to use that name?
One way to think about it is by having different brands, Marley as your writing brand and Christina for everything else.
I’m not sure if it’s helpful for you but a framework that often helps me make tough decisions is called Yes Yes Hell No. It’s basically about checking in with different perspectives within ourselves (intuition, reason, and fear) because often, these perspectives are in conflict.
If that sounds like something that could be helpful and you want to read more about that, here’s an article I wrote about it.
Whatever you end up doing, I’d say go for it!